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sometimes i look at people and think really tee

are we having drinks or are we having dranks tee

duct tape can't fix stupid but it can muffle the sound tee

apparently when you treat people like they treat you they get upset tee

bacon is 73% fat and very salty me too bacon meee too tee

the biggest joke on mankind is that computers tee

ho ho holy s-it what a year tee

whoever said there is no such thing as a stupid question tee

i wonder if common sense will ever make a comeback tee

if cussing in front of my kids makes me a bad parent then s-it tee

now that i've gotten older i've come to realize tee

oh sweetie monsters are real and they look like people tee

the voices may not be real but they do have some good ideas tee

life is a highway but i obviously took a dirt road tee

ringmaster of the shitshow tee

warning the boys are drinking again tee

i can't but i know a guy tee

i wouldn't call myself quirky but there's something wrong with me tee

i'm redundant and often repeat the thing tee

nice opinion too bad it's so stupid tee

i want to be a nice person but everyone is just so stupid tee

i'm not a pessimist i'm just an optimist with experience tee

i'm not rude i just say what everyone else is thinking tee

i'm not short i'm fun sized tee

i'm sending out w2's to everyone who has been in my business all year tee

there are two places you can stay free in your lane tee

you know that little voice inside your head that keeps tee

your secret is safe with me i wasn't listening tee

i wish i could drop my body off at the gym tee

people think i go out of my way to piss them off trust me tee

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