Gifts for Girlfriend

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the less people you chill with t-shirt

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the more people i meet the more i like my cat t-shirt

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all i know t-shirt

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what is wrong with society t-shirt

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i'm just here for the food t-shirt

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not perfect just forgiven t-shirt

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don't judge me i was born to be awesome not perfect t-shirt

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my death will probably be caused by being sarcastic at the wrong time t-shirt

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pretending to be polite t-shirt

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brains are awesome t-shirt

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my preferred lifestyle t-shirt

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i'd love to stay and chat t-shirt

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your crazy is showing you might wanna tuck that back in

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i legit stress out about stress before there's even stress to be stressing out

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i get my attitude from well pretty much all of the women i am related to

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i am a mix of really sweet and don't freaking mess with me

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i suffer from "some-timers" sometimes i remember and sometimes i don't

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my mouth has not filter i say whatever i please and most of the time i'm just as shocked as you

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i hide a lot more than i show so if you think know me you'd better think again

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i know i'm a handful but that's why you have two hands

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how beautiful it is to stay silent

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my wife isn't fragile like a flower she is fragile like a bomb

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all i want for christmas is wine t-shirt

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i whisper wtf to myself at least 20 times a day t-shirt

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i used to be a people person but people ruined that for me

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i do not burn bridges i just loosen the bolts a little each day

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i can't be held responsible for what my face does when you talk

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anyone can find the dirt in someone be the one who finds the gold

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i don't mean to interrupt people

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be the person your dog thinks you are

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i wish my wallet was as thick as my thighs

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i'm a bad influence but we're gonna have a lot of fun

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every day is a new beginning

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i swear like a sailor and use please and thank you like a saint... i'm complicated

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i do what i want when i want where i want

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only trust people who like big butts they cannot lie

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i don't understand your specific kind of crazy but i do admire your total commitment to it

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life is too short to be serious all the time

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life is a soup and i'm a fork

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if you get a different me that means i saw the real you

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pretty sure i'm going to be one of those senior citizens who bites everyone

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i am going to be fine i come from a strong line of lunatics

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my silence doesn't mean i agree with you coffee mug

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better grab my dumbrella it's really stupid out there today coffee mug

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you think it's bad now mug

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social distancing if i can turn around and punch you in the face

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i was so innocent and then my best friend came along

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i'm not sure if i attract crazy or if i make them that way

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i thought i was in a bad mood but it's been a few years so i guess this is who i am now

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i love everybody

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my mind isn't twisted it's just strategically bent in several places

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my child is what will keep me holding on when everything else is falling apart

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someday i'll start behaving myself maybe tomorrow

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warning my mouth is like a magician's hat coffee mug

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just in case no one told you today

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i didn't mean to push all your buttons mug

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weird is a side effect of being awesome

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a large group of people is called a "no thanks"

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i'm a real sweetheart and a real smartass the package deal