Gifts for Girlfriend

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i'm not sure if i attract crazy or if i make them that way

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some days i amaze myself other days i put laundry in the oven

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i have three sides

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dear autocorrect tee

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my favorite essential oil tee

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some things are better left unsaid tee

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i love it when people think they are going to punish me by not talking to me tee

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ew people tee

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first rule of 2021 never talk about 2020

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i'm terribly sorry t-shirt

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give me the strength to walk away t-shirt

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unless your name is google stop acting like you know everything

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my mind isn't twisted it's just strategically bent in several places

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behind every son who believes in himself.

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every day is a new beginning

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having kids is like having little broke friends t-shirt

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i didn't fart my butt blew you a kiss t-shirt

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don't upset me i'm running out of places to hide the bodies t-shirt

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someday i'll start behaving myself maybe tomorrow

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i love everybody

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don't eat just one donut

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i laughed so hard tears ran down my legs t-shirt

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only trust people who like big butts they cannot lie

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lord please give me patience

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i am only responsible for what i say

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my wife isn't fragile like a flower she is fragile like a bomb

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no crisis allowed this week my schedule is already full

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everyday i think people can't get any stupider

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your crazy is showing you might wanna tuck that back in

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i have two moods

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torn between lookin like a snack or eating one

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i've got pms ocd and add

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weird is a side effect of being awesome

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i hide a lot more than i show so if you think know me you'd better think again

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let's not tell some people tee

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it's been one of those days tee

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i'm not in a bad mood tee

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a fun thing to do in the morning tee

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brains are awesome t-shirt

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i don't understand your specific kind of crazy but i do admire your total commitment to it

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some say i don't play well with others

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i'm a bad influence but we're gonna have a lot of fun

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a large group of people is called a "no thanks"

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pretending to be polite t-shirt

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warrior not a worrier t-shirt

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yet despite the look on my face you're still talking t-shirt

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i'd love to do whatever i want t-shirt

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people who tolerate me on daily basis t-shirt

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well paint me green and call me a pickle t-shirt

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i am going to be fine i come from a strong line of lunatics

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if you're thinking what i'm thinking you need professional help

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out of all my body parts i feel like my eyes are in the best shape i do at least a thousand eye rolls a day

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i swear like a sailor and use please and thank you like a saint... i'm complicated

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don't judge me i was born to be awesome not perfect t-shirt

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i promised myself i'd do things different today

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social distancing is hard for this hugger

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i stopped fighting my inner demons we're on the same side now

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i wish my wallet was as thick as my thighs

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anyone can find the dirt in someone be the one who finds the gold

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